In the produce section, I spent a solid five minutes squeezing and testing cantaloupes for ripeness. Partially to flex my new PiYo muscles, but also because I'm super picky about cantaloupe. I love it to death, but it's a total turn-off if it's rock hard and tasteless. This is the only time of year that it's really good.
I buy cantaloupes that have a little give to them. A little soft, the orange color peeking through (not so green underneath). You have to check the whole melon, because sometimes it'll be slightly soft most of the way around and then you'll press one spot and it'll practically collapse underneath your fingers. Too ripe, that one is!
Anyway, I was perfectly content there, squeezing the juicy round orbs, dreaming of the spicy Asian melon salad I'm making later this week. I'd had a great walkout and I'd planned the week's meals and I was setting myself up for a good week. I selected my two melons and moved on.
Then I glimpsed another shopper; a woman, with a lean, toned body. Long, firm, tanned legs. Tight yoga shorts. She looked the way I've always dreamed of looking.
I was instantly jealous. My mood crashed. For a moment, all those good, proud thoughts slipped away, and I remembered how fat I am, how far I have to go, and I felt like I'd never get there.
It's amazing how looking at another woman for two seconds can rip your self-esteem a new one.
Then I forced the old track to stop playing; I lifted the needle, changed the record, and played a new tune:
You're doing great. You're working hard at a new exercise routine, and you're eating healthier, and you're taking the steps you need to live a strong and healthy life.
I was hovering over the broccoli when, lo and behold, I looked up to find Ms. Yoga Shorts looking at me:
"Excuse me, but can you tell me how you pick out a good cantaloupe?"
I was happy to oblige.
*****
We are exactly where we are supposed to be. Nowhere else but right here, right now.
Be well.
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