I turned so he could see me from the side and stuck out my butt. This is pretty typical for a Sunday afternoon, which it was, and in the kitchen while he's cooking, which we were and he was.
Sous Chef: Yeah, it looks different. It's getting higher and rounder.
Me: I know! But I don't want a big butt that doesn't fit into my pants and makes my dresses hike up half a foot in the back!
SC: It's better to have a high, round butt than a wide, flat one, though.
Me: (blank stare)...Huh.
*****
That was it for a while, until we went to bed, and this gem of a thought occurred to me, just as Sous Chef was dozing off:
Me: Oh my God!
SC: (groggy and suddenly alert) What?! You OK?
Me: No! What if I lose all this weight and it turns out I have all these bumps or cysts all over me that have been smoothed out or covered up by my fat for all these years and when the fat goes away I'll have all these horrible bumps all over me?!?!
SC: ...Shut up.
Me: (thoroughly stunned) What do you mean, "Shut up?" (Note: Sous Chef is incredibly kind and polite and never, ever tells me to shut up)
SC: You always do this. Every time. You lose a little weight or tone up a little bit and your body starts to change and you freak out and you do this. You are not going to have bumps all over you and your butt looks fine. Just shut up and keep doing what you're doing.
OK, Sous Chef. As you wish.
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