I don't like resting. I've never been very good at it.
I'm always looking for the next thing to do; always maintaining a to-do list, both in my head and on my wall in the form of Post-it notes. I'm not very good at just doing nothing.
Maybe I need to change my thinking about what it means to Rest. Maybe it's not really nothing; it's merely a period of preparation for the next hurdle, whatever that may be. I've had to take a lot more rests than I want to because of my back injury, and I've been incredibly frustrated by it.
But as Dr. Fat Ass reminds me, recovery is not a steady upward trajectory - it's a craggy, sloping chain of mountains of success followed by valleys of regression. The overall trajectory is upward, but there are a lot of ups and downs along the way.
I want to be able to say, "It's been seven months, and I'm fully recovered." I want to be like the athlete that gets in a terrible accident and bounces back in record time to return to his chosen sport and win the gold medal. I want people to look at me and say, "Wow, I can't believe she came back so quickly."
Patience is a virtue for which I am still impatiently waiting.
Perhaps I would feel better about all of these rests (both scheduled and impromptu) if I were doing everything right. If I were eating a completely healthy diet, devoid of donuts and hot dogs. If I were walking more on days when my back can't PiYo. If I were drinking enough water. If I were, if I were, if I were...
Or maybe I need to cut myself some freakin' slack.
Any ideas?
*****
Today's Shakeology was my first time using PB2, a powdered peanut butter. I first heard of it when Sous Chef started getting into camping. It turns out a jar of powdered peanut butter weighs a lot less than a jar of regular peanut butter, and when you're camping, every extra pound counts. Kind of like when you have a back injury. Interesting.
I like the peanuty flavor of the PB2, and I really like that it has a lot less calories. This is basically my Chocolate Monkey shake with PB2 substituted in. It tasted just as good!
Chocolate PB2 Shake
1 scoop vegan chocolate Shakeology
1 - 1½ cups unsweetened almond milk
½ banana
2 Tbsp PB2
1 - 2 wheatgrass ice cubes
Blend everything together. Cut yourself some slack today.
Shake well.
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