Green Potatoes

1.  I hate drunken crowds, especially those filled with overly bleached-blonde twenty-something girls pretending their IQ has dropped seventy points just to impress over-cologned college guys dressed in identical green-checked Abercrombie button-down shirts.

2.  So we celebrated St. Patrick's Day a day early.  Say hello to St. Paturday; a day full of puns even worse than "St. Paturday".

3.  Example: At one location, I ordered an Orange Crush.  I then placed said beverage on the Sous Chef's shoulder and said, "Hey, Sous Chef!  I've got a Crush on you!"  He pretended to be engrossed in the Maryland game on TV.  I do not blame him.

4.  At one point in the evening, I saw one of the aforementioned pretend idiot girls walking down the street, dressed in green sequins and a flashing green necklace.  I yelled across the street to her, "Happy St. Patrick's Day!!" and all she did was look at me and turn to go into a bar.  Not a very festive reaction, if you ask me.  But then again, she was wearing cut-off shorts on a thirty degree March evening, so perhaps she wasn't actually pretending to be an idiot.

5.  Don't piss me off on St. Patrick's Day.  I am Irish and not afraid to insult you the next day on my blog.

6.  Oh.  And I discovered RumChata.  Holy cow.  Literally.

7.  I am already moving on to the next holiday - Easter.  As I write this, I've got hard boiled eggs wrapped in cut-up lace underwear, sitting in natural food dye.  Thank you, Martha Stewart.