Lace Easter Eggs

I've been talking to you for a little over four years now, which is why I finally feel like I know you well enough to show you my underwear:

Seriously.  This is my underwear, wrapped around hard-boiled eggs.  I'll give you a hint as to why I would do such a thing:

Yes!  Easter Eggs!

When I first saw these lace-patterned Easter eggs in Martha Stewart Living, I immediately wanted to make them.  I even went as far as to go to the thrift store to buy lace.

And then the Sous Chef accidentally threw it away, along with a sequin top and hideously gaudy wedding dress I bought to wear for Halloween next year - this was especially troubling, because it was only twelve dollars and it would have been perfect for the costume I'm planning.  It's a long story.

I didn't discover that the lace was missing until the eggs were boiled, the dye was prepared, and the rubber bands were at the ready, waiting to hold the lace in place around the eggs.

Hence the frantic search around the house, culminating with this exciting discovery at the back of my underwear drawer.

It's nice when you find exciting things at the back of your underwear drawer.  Keeps life interesting.  And it makes egg-dyeing way more fun:

I was very happy to find a natural egg dyeing kit at Williams-Sonoma, what with this being a food blog and all, and considering the fact that I was already planning on how I would eat the eggs as soon as they were photographed, I wasn't too keen on the idea of ingesting my yolks with a side of chemicals.  These dyes are made using things like turmeric, purple potatoes, and red cabbage.

Like most of my Martha Stewart experiments, this one didn't go totally according to plan.  For some reason, the orange dyed eggs didn't take on the lace pattern at all; luckily, it came through on the blue and purple ones.

As it dried, the lace pattern took on an almost snake-like appearance, which the Sous Chef dug - it made the eggs more manly, I guess.

Because apparently it's not eggceptable for a man to enjoy Easter eggs unless they look like snakes or some other form of reptile.

But I digress.

I did a lot of research before taking this project on.  This was a Martha craft, which meant that no matter how easy she makes it look, it was bound to end with me either bleeding or crying or both.

I'm happy to say that the only thing that bled was the purple dye, all over the countertop (my fault, not the product's).

Most of the unhappy comments were from people who said that the lace pattern didn't properly come through - that either it was blotchy or the dye just colored the entire egg.

I found that I had to gather the lace and twist really hard (it helped to remember that the eggs were boiled, so I could apply extra pressure without fear of a making a yolky mess), then secure it with a rubber band.  This ensured that the lace was tight enough around the egg to seal it off - for the most part.

Another thing I did was make sure the water was nice and hot when I mixed the dye, and I left the eggs in there for a full 15 - 20 minutes.

No, my eggs didn't turn out perfectly, but they weren't a total failure, either.  I'm pretty sure that the only place we're bound to see perfection is within the pages of a magazine.  In real life, a few blotches here and there aren't such a big deal.

Overall, this eggsperience greatly eggceeded my eggspectations.

Okay, I'm done with the puns now.

Just yolking.