I got so angry during the first "burst" part of the workout, after the warm-up portion. It went so fast! I did maybe a third of the movements, because I knew that if I rushed to keep up, my core engagement would be completely sacrificed.
I got so mad at myself; all those years of cakes, cookies, and ice cream came screaming back at me and I yelled at myself for letting myself get to this point. Did my back get injured because of the years of extra weight, or was I destined to have back issues no matter what I weigh?
Damn you, Warrior 3. Damn you, three point balance stretches. You spell D-E-A-T-H for my back right now!
All of this. Running through my head at light speed while I tortoised my way through a hare's pace workout.
It's amazing how quickly your thoughts can move despite your body's limitations.
I almost stopped. I really considered it. I thought, If I can't do the whole workout, why do it at all? And of course, right as this thought crossed my mind, Chalene piped up on the TV: "This used to be hard for me. Now it's easy. It'll be easy for you, too. Just keep practicing."
See, this is why I like her so much. Even though she recorded this months ago for an audience of millions, it felt like she was tuning right into me in that moment.
And I knew that my Beachbody coach and support group on Facebook would be waiting for me to check in today; I didn't want to let them down, and even more, I realized I didn't want to let myself down.
I pushed through. If there's one thing about me, no matter how hard I fall, I always finish strong.
Always.
I did those last pushups. I pulled in that core and pushed.
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